Consequences of sleeping around

By: Dawn V. Obrecht

Does the idea make you uncomfortable, make you laugh, make you say you want to meet one? Or does it make you wish for the capacity to have an emotionally intimate relationship, not dozens of superficial ones? Or perhaps you are concerned for the children and teenagers in your life?

What are the consequencs of having multiple partners in your bedroom? 

The medical term for constantly sleeping with multiple partners or, in the state of being promiscuous is 'sex addict'. 

Why do People do this?
Like other addictions, fooling around with multiple or single partners is way to cover or change feelings. It is a substitute for dealing effectively with life. People who sleeps around will destroy their primary relationship since you can always go elsewhere to pursue their addiction. They cannot relate normally as they are always looking for more or different. 

What are the Consequences?

  • 1) Pornography become their lover
    The man who is involved in such movies regularly, will not be available for emotional intimacy with his primary partner. He spends time and energy focused on the porn, not on his wife or girlfriend. He can use his addiction to isolate and avoid being vulnerable. He, and she, misses the benefits of an honest and emotionally present relationship. The computer has become his lover; he is having an affair, just as much as if he were involved with another woman.
  • 2) They will always be Lonely
    While they have many multiple partners to go to bed with, they will never feel close to any of them. The individuals are desperately lonely and yet unable to let anyone into his life; he is not able to allow anyone to really know him, living with a deep seated fear that he will be rejected or hurt.
  • 3) They always want more partners
    Everything and everyone is for making love to satisfy their addict. Every trip to the gym is an opportunity to wear provocative clothing and covertly solicit. Every encounter with a member of the opposite gender is either overtly or covertly flirtatious. The 'vibes' sent out by the addict are clearly detectable by anyone looking; they scream loud and clear, 'I am available,' 'want to be with me,' 'let's have go to bed,'. After the initial rush, the gnawing loneliness returns.
  • 3) Addicts will switch addictions easily
    It is not uncommon addict to turn to food, gambling, alcohol or even drugs. These addicts are attracted to each other like magnets. The progression of this disease, if left untreated, can be to crimes, including exposure and assault. The addiction will escalate as the need for the 'sleeping around' increases. There are treatment centers that specialize in the treatment of these addicts.

Here is a simple test to test if you are an addict
Are you doing anything you would not want your family (grandmother, children, and wife) to know about?

Recovery from this addiction allows the person to become available for other things in life, most importantly, for a relationship not contaminated by the dishonesty and shame of affairs, or other behavior that takes away from closeness to one partner. 

To start recover,y begin with this book by Patrick Carnes, Out of the Shadows.

Addictions
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